Random Randomness, Organization Style
by ExileFromLife
Summary: Basically what the title says. There are 3 OCs added to the Organization. Drunken Org members, some suggestive themes. Rated M to be safe.


Walking through the castle, darkness following in her wake, Leira fumed silently. Xemnas, yet again, insisted that she be the one to cook, even though he knew she couldn't so much as properly make ramen. So she was going to see the single person in the Organization that _actually_ knew how to cook a proper steak sirloin, mashed rutabagas, and corn on the cob. Vexen.

Zexion would have been the logical choice had it been just the corn and steaks, but _no_; Xemnas just had to insist on the rutabagas. Of course.

So, she was meandering down the hall, disturbing Axel's video game time, Saix's reading, Zexion's meditating, and Lexaeus's training, just to find out how in the hell to get Vexen to make the meal and still not get caught by the Superior.

Leira paused. Two of the other members would be crucial to this mission as well...numbers XV and XVI. Clara and Ezra, her two partners in crime. She sighed and turned around, yet again disturbing Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, and Axel, and adding Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas to her 'The people who want to kill me' list. However, she knew that annoying the Superior was always worth the scolding from the other nine members.

Oh, how she loved her life.

xx

Ezra frowned, her attack wasn't working, and the heartless was still able to move freely, even as green bubbles popped around it, coating it in a slimy secretion known as Poison. Ezra tugged on the thin green strings, which where connected to the heartless by throwing knifes, resulting in the black fiend to start bouncing furiously in an attempt to escape.

_Why isn't it working?_ Ezra fumed silently to herself, failing to hear her door creak open as Leira walked in. The heartless continued it tirade, bouncing merrily about the area he was confined in. Releasing an angry growl, Ezra tugged on the strings once more, sending the heartless flying into her raised foot, knocking the creature unconscious. With a satisfied smirk, the woman gathered her daggers up, tucking them into the pockets of her organization coat.

"Stupid little heartless..." Ezra muttered, turning around as someone cleared their throat. Ezra looked over her shoulder, a blush seeping onto her face. "How long have you been there?"

Leira shook her head, "Long enough, look I need your and Clara's help with dinner."

Ezra raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in thought. Xemnas never stated they couldn't have help when cooking. Slowly, a smile graced her lips and she nodded. It couldn't hurt to help her friend, now could it? Leira chuckled lightly, earning a 'you're insane aren't you' look from Ezra. With a shake of her head, Leira walked out of the room, Ezra following behind as they went to search for Clara.

xx

Leira frowned as she knocked on the door to Clara's room without getting a response from her friend. She turned to Ezra and shrugged, walking her way down to Axel's door and walking in.

Clara was there, playing Mario Party 2 with Axel, the crazy redhead that everyone knew she had a crush on. Smothering a laugh at Axel's move with his character, leading him down into certain doom, she cleared her throat, attracting the two's attentions.

"Hey, Axel, Clara. Axel, do you mind if we borrow Clara? I got assigned dinner duty, and I'm wanting to go steal Vexen's recipes."

Axel watched as his character died a gruesome death and paused the victory sequence. He shrugged and asked, simply, "What's the menu?"

"Steak sirloin, mashed rutabagas, and corn on the cob. Zexion's in charge of the drinks, so it'll probably be strawberry and raspberry lemonade. So, can we borrow Clara?"

"Sure, if it makes dinner actually not be burnt..." Axel said, only to be hit with a ball of darkness in the back of his head. "Alright! Alright! No comments on your cooking!"

"Dude, why the hell does Xemmy have to be such a bitch about dinner?" Clara was somewhat pissed about being taken from Axel, and Xemnas' picky dinner menus.

"Because he thinks he's the queen bee around here. Trust me. I once saw him in a wig and heels." Ezra shuddered.

"NO WAY!" Clara and Leira shrieked as Ezra nodded. Reaching Vexen's door, Leira knocked.

"Tell me it's about dinner, right?" Vexen sighed as the girls nodded.

"Mashed 'bagers." Clara informed.

"Ahhh. But you know, those aren't very hard."

"Look, I can only make baked goods, Ezra's good at alcoholic drinks, and Leira can't even make ramen! We need your help!"

"Alright then girls, follow me to Marluxia's garden." He grabbed the arms of Leira and Clara, and Ezra toddled along behind them.

Ezra looked hastily behind the group as they stepped into the forest like garden. She swore she had heard something hiss and mumble before it slithered off into the bowels of the forest. While most of the Garden was well kept, other parts where occupied by twisting plants and, in some way those areas could support a village of small people. Small blue people. Ezra shook her head and rushed to catch up to the trio a head of her.

"What exactly are we searching for out here? Some lost recipe from the middle ages?"

Leira didn't want to step into Marluxia's garden, seeing as she knew what Marluxia would do to anyone that stepped in without his express permission. She walked a bit faster to catch up to Vexen and whispered in his ear. 

"Um, Vexen, is this such a good idea? You _know_ what Mar would do if he sees us in there!" Leira was one of Marluxia's close friends (the only one closer was Demyx, and we won't go into that), and she didn't want to ruin it.

"We're going to get his permission. I'm not stupid, Leira! Well, that and I don't want a scythe, especially not a pink one, shoved up my ass." Vexen said calmly.

Leira breathed a sigh of relief as she slowed down her walk and fell into step with Ezra and Clara. She silently prayed that Marluxia was in a good mood and summoned her sais to her hands. If Ezra and Clara noticed, they didn't show it, but there was no way that she would go into Marluxia's room or garden unarmed.

Clara shivered next to Vexen as he gently picked up some prime 'begas, worried that Marluxia would come out any moment and swipe somebody's head off. She heard some rustling in the bushes, and sighed.

"Are we going yet?"

"M'hm." Vexen cradled the small plants as the trio of girls followed him closely behind. Soon enough (though it felt like forever), they were all back, safe and sound in a hallway.

"Thank God." Leira wiped some sweat away from her brow and sighed.

"Let's just get this over with so that we don't die very gruesome deaths." Ezra said.

"Agreed."

The group headed towards the kitchen, stopping as Marluxia walked past, heading towards his garden, a rather large brown bag nestled in his arms. Leira, Clara and Ezra eyed the bag. Vexen cast the bag a glance and looked at Mar as he to stopped.

"What's in the bag Mar?" Leira inched over, trying to peer in only to have Marluxia turn away. This was enough to cause Leira's face to scrunch up in disgust and back away. Clara frowned as Ezra pushed on her to move so they could hurry and get dinner ready before Xemnas had a cow. The group said their good byes for the short time and walked away, the three girls glancing back at Marluxia and his bag.

"I think he's feeding a village out there."

"That bag smelt rancid." Leira's face contorted again. Ezra shrugged.

"He could be burying dirty clothes too."

Well, everything after the fertilizer had been brought in had been going pretty well, what with them having mashed the rutabagas up, and Zexion coming in with his special herb mix so they could properly make the steak. However, Marluxia was a bit too curious about the smells coming from the kitchen for them to be relaxed.

"What'cha maki---ARE THOSE MY RUDABEGAS!" Marluxia screeched, closing the distance between himself and Leira within a couple of strides. 

"Marluxia, I---" Leira was forced to stop, considering there was a very sharp object held against her throat.

"You took my rutabagas and then MASHED them! You went into my garden without my express permission, AND you didn't even bother to lock the kitchen door!" Marluxia's eyes were flashing with rage and the scythe was pressing uncomfortably against Leira's tan skin.

Leira was sick and tired of getting pushed around by Marluxia and brought in a sai to defend herself with.

"Marluxia, get the _hell_ away from me, or you're going to be lacking some special parts of your anatomy before too terribly long." Leira had the sai circling near Marluxia's pants with ease and was emitting an aura of darkness around it.

"As if!" Marluxia snorted before noticing that Leira's normally magenta eyes had turned black. He immediately pulled back from her and vanished his scythe. "Fine, but don't take anymore of my vegetables without my express permission, got it!"

"Fine." She vanished the sai before letting Marluxia leave.

Clara and Ezra let go of each other, but still wide-eyed.

"What the hell was that?" Ezra asked.

"Ah, you know how he is." Leira shrugged.

"Um...suuuuure." Clara said, clutching her arms.

"Well, at least dinner is almost done, right?"

"Yeah, whatever you say, Leira." Ezra muttered as she began to get out dishes. But everyone knew it was going to be a long dinner.

Ezra nodded, a small smile play on her lips as she watching Zexion finish the drinks, putting ice into the jugs. She looked at Clara and Leira who where both tasting the food making sure it was just perfect for his holy highness- Xemnas. She turned back towards the drinks, stepping over to them. Dinner was nothing without a little fun. And a fun dinner must of some type of buzz to it.

With one more quick look, to make sure no one was looking, Ezra pulled a large colorless bottle out of her cloak, and uncorked it. Holding it over the jug, she watched as a few drops of the liquid fell into the lemonade. The woman frowned and allowed the rest of the bottles contents to flow into the drink. A little alcohol never hurt anyone. With a smile, Ezra pocketed the now empty bottle and walked over to the two cheifs, innocently joining on their conversation.

Leira could recognize the look on Ezra's face from any distance. She had obviously done something to the drinks, but Leira was willing to play along, especially if it left Xemnas completely wasted in the morning. She opened her telepathic field and asked Ezra an all important question.

_Alright, Ms. Smug, what did you do to the drinks? Or, rather, what alcohol did you add to them?_ Leira was hoping it wasn't a certain type of alcohol.

_Pure alcohol, duh! Anything else would make the taste go off its mark. How did you know?_

_I know that look anywhere. I'm going to have some, just to get Xemnas totally wasted. His theory is, if I drink it, he'll drink it._ Mentally, she snickered. _Stupid man._

Clara watched her two friends, always knowing when Leira spoke telepathically to anyone. Being as she and Leira were doing food duty, she could only assume that Ezra had put alcohol into the drinks, yet again. As the two girls turned to her, Clara smiled and nodded, scooping food out of the pans and onto the plates.

"Scout's honor." Clara giggled as she made her way into the dining room with two plates, followed by her friends. All of the other Organization members sat in their respective seats, and everyone was served quickly. After the girls had seated themselves, Leira raised her glass.

"A toast to Xemnas. May he always be the wonderful leader that he has been."

"To Xemnas!" Everyone chimed in, and Leira took a large swallow of her drink, followed by everyone else. Xemnas smiled at Leira, and she only smirked.

_Ohhh, it's going to be a fun night after all._

Xemnas had taken another large swallow of his drink and poured some more into his glass before raising it again. It was after dinner now, with compliments to the chefs floating around the table, especially after Clara's homemade cherry pie. Xemnas cleared his throat and commanded silence from the table.

He stood up and thought for a second before actually saying anything. "To the women in the Organization. May they always be around to make our lives hell!"

Leira nearly choked at the saying, but recovered and squeaked out a 'Here, here!' before taking a smaller swallow than her last as Xemnas drained his glass to refill it.

_Go, Ezzie! He's wasted!_ Leira stood up and began to remove the empty dishes from the table. "We might as well start these dishes. When all the talking comes to a stop, bring your glasses and the pitchers in, will you, Zexy?"

Zexion nodded, earning a light kiss from Leira. She could feel a psychic tendril brush her inner barriers and lightly open them. _Good trick with the drinks. Give Ezra my thanks, alright, love?_

_Will do! You gonna be reading?_

_Yup. Marluxia wanted your help with the fertilizer in his garden though._

_Lovely..._

Ezra smiled slyly as she sipped her drink, while she could hold her alcohol, she wanted to enjoy seeing the other members act like complete idiots. Things like this didn't happen frequently, but when they did moments like these where meant to stand out, and at the moment a few of the members where doing a wonderful job, such as Xigbar and Saix. Both men where cattle walling, in their case a vain attempt at rapping. Axel had a small if not pleased smile on his face as Xemnas told some hair brained story about Jewish bankers while calling himself Xemnas Mansex.

Leira casted a worried glace at Roxas, who sat hunched over, his face red from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Xemnas stood up, coughing to get everyone's attention. The organization looked at their leader.

"Everyone! I have a very important announcement to make." The group watched as Xemnas stepped onto the table, "I am too sexy for my shirt!" 

Leira, Clara, and Ezra stared, mouths agape, a look of pure horror on their face as the organization leader began dancing. Axel began laughing, snapping a few photos with his camera.

"He he, black mail!" Axel continued his photo session, giving the girls a thumbs up as they ushered Roxas out of the room.

_Please don't get sick, please don't get sick_ Clara pleaded mentally as she and her friends led Roxas to his room. As Ezra tucked him into bed and Leira got him some water, Clara fetched some bread from the kitchen and ran back to Roxas' room.

"Come on Roxas, you've got to eat something. It help so that you don't get a really bad hangover." Clara began ripping pieces of the bread and gently put some into Roxas' mouth. He chewed slowly, and Leira put the glass up to his mouth so that he could drink out of it.

"Thanks guys." Roxas croaked, and turned onto his side. Soon he was snoring.

------

Back in the dining room all hell had broken loose. Xemnas was naked and rolling on the table, Saix, Xigbar and Xaldin were singing in gibberish, Axel was shaking his booty to music in his head, Marluxia was nearly stripped and Demyx was swinging from the chandelier. Upon seeing the girls, Xemnas climbed off of the table and staggered over to Leira.

"Baby, you and me ain't nothing but mammals, let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!" He then stood behind Leira and began to freak dance on her. Pissed off, Leira grabbed Xemnas and flipped him onto his back.

"NEVER AGAIN, YOU PERV." She kicked him on the side, to which he winced and groaned. As the three stepped over Xemnas, Demyx fell onto Ezra, knocking her to the ground.

"Ezra...I'm drunk."

"Yeah Demy, you are."

"Can I have your babies?"

"No Demyx."

"M'kay then," Demyx shrugged. "Ohhhh Marluxxxiiiiaaaaaaa! Lemme have your babies!"

"Okay Demyx." Marluxia staggered over to Demyx and they began to make out.

"OH HELL NO!" Clara shrieked. Male pregnancy wasn't an option here.

"Maybe we should just leave." Leira offered, and the other two nodded. Rushing off, the trio didn't know that they were being followed by fire and silence.


End file.
